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IV

by Windhorst

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1.
bay view cops / unsayable thing (demo) (free) 05:02
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baby something takes a long long time to catch your eye may you sit in seven bedrooms smoking, recording, sing in time and broadcasting tennis from south ellen street increase the signal with my own two feet when i miss you when i miss you so what gave you the right to talk to me so what allows you to speak my name now that you've made your case, i know you're awfully keen and you don't deserve it but you'll get it just the same that's just the way it seems to work 'round here what we know of justice we have learned on queers in grade school in grade school but now i know how many lies i've lived that i can talk my way out and my way back in & if i feel bad for what i did i know i'll blame it on the poor street kids but i would make sure that i tip them off before i rat them out to the cops in bay view in bay view --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- settle down someone never suffered enough i know you've suffered a lot but we all suffer so much and i can see all you've lost as you've come to your old age and for the life of me i can't see a single thing you've gained but don't i feel jealous now that, with every word, you sing? when all i ever said for myself was some stupid unsayable thing quiet now like you knew your source was a fraud like you knew your native tongue was flawed o tell me how you've learned so much abroad & i'll tell you that i'm dreaming now for ninety-odd nights in a row that you see it in the streaming clouds; yours is the best heart was ever broke that you've half a mind to seeing one day what an adolescent shackle i've been so you set to driving far away to escape some inherited sin that you cancel all your credit cards; remove every last finger print that you count up all the debt you've collected in one of many lives you've lived and halfway to Tulsa you buy cigarettes, leaving our cat in our car and you stop to wonder why you ever took a joke like me that far
2.
ugly cursive (demo) (free) 02:46
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has something gone wrong my rabbit? you're stealing hopeless haptic habits i know you're feeling such an empty feeling i know we've still got a lot of healing to go so stay inside our fever'd cabin stick your shoulders to some sticky fabric i hope this sickness turns to bitter magic i hope you'll stay in here so long as you have it, so long i'll bandage all your bloody limbs up make your coffee just the second you wake up i saw i saw it on some sunday right after work so much older than i ever thought we were - when we get older our bodies will fall apart we won't outlive the oldest achings of our hearts alright? there are things we'll probably always hurt from; but i'll write your doctors notes in my ugliest cursive tonight
3.
years from now (demo) (free) 02:46
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shy away from the ache of the wild hours you keep to stay awake with the tv and wait until you fall asleep still in transit speaking you promise me a good year i'm on an island sinking you'll never know what happened here like some policeman you came into my house you will wait for our dreams to come true -- years from now still in transit speaking to promise me a good year and i'm an island sinking you'll never know what happened here i know you listen and dismiss how did we move from that to this like some beautiful eclipse i feel the solar winds shift respect ephemera in memory forget all the times you fucked me up wait for me to give in invite years of bad luck after twenty years of the same you'll step into my shoes and the weight will drag you under I'm so much more than you

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released May 26, 2015

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Windhorst Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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